I knew that my first year in seminary would be a challenging transition, but my personal life became unexpectedly complicated. The overwhelm I have felt hasn’t been that unique though. It is a common topic of discussion among students that resurfaces throughout the year. A recent point of extreme overwhelm became the catalyst for me to “get organized.”

Besides clearing my desk, I finally instituted some organizing tools I had found that are designed for “pilers” or those with a more visual style of organizing.  I also returned to the Zen Habits blog which I discovered while reading Getting Things Done by David Allen.  I like the ZTD spin on the GTD system.  I also found a few blogs discussing the topic of organization and seminary:

• GTD and Clergy Workflow at Entangled States
• Seminary Time Waster #5: Disorganization at SeminarySurvivalGuide.com

Of course, I recently posted to my Twitter that I couldn’t find something because it was exactly where it should be in the new system.   Oh well, it’s a journey.

Seminary studies and life have kept me busy and I have found it hard to “indulge” in blogging. How can I justify taking the time when there is so much to do! Also, much of where my heart is right now relates to my concerns about my elderly parents (at almost 82, I think my mom still doesn’t appreciate being labeled as elderly). If you’ve read my blog in the past, you know that my mom reads it. I haven’t been sure how to venture into this subject area without being overly concerned about offending her.

Tonight thanks to my husband (aka great spiritual teacher), I came face-to-face with the fact that I possess the same trait that is driving me crazy in my mom. He offered to head off to the laundromat by himself with our laundry while I stayed home and studied. Rather than happily accepting his generous offer, I was plagued with both guilt and “but you won’t do it like I do” thoughts. I was the only one who was surprised by this. He took my feeble protests in stride and didn’t have too big a smile when I admitted my wrong thinking. (I did remind him not to get on a high horse, that he isn’t perfect either.) So he’s off doing the laundry and I’m realizing that even if something comes back a tiny version of itself, it is well worth the gift I have received. Amen.

Lately I have been feeling grateful for how effortless my exercise habits have become. They are purposefully modest ones. My focus has been on making exercise pleasurable and doable. Now it is usually a matter of when, rather than if, I’m going to exercise. I’m especially happy that when I get stressed out my reaction is to want to get outside and go for a walk. I still dream of consistently attending dance classes or doing one of my longer DVD’s, but most days I manage to do the AM workout from 7 Minutes of Magic in addition to my walk.

Although I’m usually looking forward to my walks, I still have days that I struggle with resistance. Yesterday was one of those days. I just did not want to go and an internal conversation ensued. “I don’t want to go.” “Walking is good for you.” “Missing one day is no big deal.” “You know you’ll feel better once you get out there.” “It’s cold.” “Dress warm, besides walking will warm you up.” “I don’t know.” “Just go!” In the end I went because over time, I had developed faith in my walking practice. That I would feel better after I got out there.

I knew I just had to get over the hurdle of walking out the door. I didn’t need to commit to any length of time or other goal. Just out the door. Down the block. And sure enough my mood lifted and my body celebrated an opportunity to move. Having segmented walking routes helps me take longer walks. I only need to plan to do the smaller segment and then usually end up adding additional segments after I realize how good it feels to be out walking. Last night I went out with the freedom to do a short walk but along the way made choices that resulted in a respectable 30-minute walk.

Freedom. Pleasure. Choice. A far cry from the tortured treadmill walking I used to do at a gym. My instinct to stay away from “discipline” focused exercise has been the right thing for me. Instead of thinking of exercise as something I need to force myself to do, I look forward to it. Then on the days that my mood gets in the way of remembering how good it feels, I can have faith that the practice will remind me.

Today we released our beloved cat, Tao, from her suffering.  We are grateful for the blessing she was in our lives for the short nine years she has been a part of our family.  I post this prayer in honor of her passing and with the belief that she died in the embrace of our love.

May all creatures be freed from their suffering
May all creatures be freed from their illness.
May those in fear be comforted
And those bound be set free.

May all creatures lost in this wilderness
they do not know
be guarded by the love of celestials,
and may they be led to a place
of everlasting peace.

Buddhist Prayer, adapted by Lynn L. Caruso
Blessing the Animals: Prayers and Ceremonies to Celebrate God’s Creatures, Wild and Tame

P.S. Reading this old post (with favorite Tao photo) is giving me comfort. I had forgotten about the night she brought a dragonfly in from the balcony. I was laying on the floor and heard a strange buzzing sound as she ran past me. Then when the dragonfly got loose, my husband and I showed our true colors as we both ran for cover!

As my class in Theological Reflection comes to a close, I am feeling grateful for the introduction to theological perspectives that I have found very exciting.  I am continuing to explore process theology and liberation theologies (look in My Library to see what I am reading).  One of the most meaningful class discussions was about religious perspectives about Creation.  Feminist and process theology understandings of all Creation as interconnected and Sacred particularly resonate with how I see the universe, from the magnificent trees that share my walks to the smallest creatures that I admire from afar to the animals with which I develop close relationships.  All are Sacred to me and fill me with awe as I feel not only connected, but changed by my experience of them.  As I prepare to leave for my second two-week intensive class, I anticipate the healing presence of the forest in contrast to the stressful environment of urban life.

I have a habit of listening to radio show podcasts on most of my daily walks.  Speaking of Faith is one of two my favorites.  After writing the last paper for my class, I decided to finally listen to the podcast of “Whale Songs and Elephant Loves.”  The stories of whales sharing their songs and of elephants communicating beyond our ability to hear took on new meaning in the context of theological perspectives based on an interconnected Creation that is calling us to deeper relationship.  I loved hearing the sounds of the whales singing and the elephants rejoicing as they reconnect with their family members.

Also this week, one of the barrage of Twitter posts in my TwitterFox stream had a link to this wonderful video of musicians all over the world lifting up their voices in the same call to community (excerpt from the documentary, “Playing For Change: Peace Through Music“).