So it’s Nov 15 and I’m half way through the month of blogging. Acckkk! I’m not sure I’m going to make it but maybe this weekend I’ll catch my breath. At the moment it feels like I’m just down to desperate fluff posts. I am so exhausted because my day was super long ending with picking up my husband at the airport after an evening meeting. I’ve done it a million times but I managed to take a wrong turn. I got stuck in traffic because of construction and then took a few more wrong turns until I finally got back to the point where it all started. Just what you want when you are just trying to keep going. Too top it off, I thought I had to take my music midterm today, because whenever you log-in to the website it said that the mid-term is Thursday and you only have 24 hours to take it. So I dashed home between work stuff, but when I got to the midterm page it said that I had until Sunday night. Of course, I would rather take it on Saturday when I actually had time! Oh well, enough complaining. I guess this is the opposite of a gratitude post

I have no major content to share today. I can see how some of the blogs I read include a regular “review day” recapping what they’ve already written. It’s been strangely hot so after lamenting the absence of sun and warmth, we suddenly had quite the opposite. I’m trying to take advantage of it before it leaves again. Part of me prefers that the weather make it its mind, but another part is quite grateful for the change!

I was feeling a little cavalier in the first week of NaBloPoMo. It’s not so tough I thought. Hah. Week two and I’m struggling to keep the pace. It’s the same thing with my walking. The change to colder and darker days has me struggling to keep up the walking that came so easily when the warm, sunny weather beckoned me to come out and enjoy it. I was determined to go for a walk at 4pm today before it got dark. My plan was to walk near work. However, the hours went by and I kept working in my office. I forced myself out for a walk after I got home by telling myself it would be a quick walk and that a small walk was better than no walk. Then I got myself to walk a little farther, taking a longer route. Finally, I realized that adding a little more would make a 20 minute walk which I think of my minimum. I felt much better afterwards of course. It becomes a cycle, up or down, depending on your choices. If I don’t walk, I have less energy and feel less like walking. If I walk, I have more energy and will be more likely to walk tomorrow.

I’m just squeaking in at the last minute on the first day of the National Blog Posting Month. It was a long day at work and I had to do my online music appreciation class work when I got home. The class has turned out to be a really wonderful way to feed my soul, so no complaints We’ll see how I do trying to blog every day. I thought it might be a fun way to get back into the swing of writing after my computer and shoulder woes (still grumpy about my Vista problems). I’m still not clear if I have to blog everyday on just one blog or if I can switch it and blog on my other one some days. I’m going to try to blog here everyday in any case. Cheers!

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I mentioned in a previous post that through blogging I had developed a writing practice. That sounded kind of grand, but it really isn’t. I’m exited that I am finally writing on a regular basis (well semi-regularly anyway). I have had a somewhat tortured relationship with writing over the years. Through blogging I am finally recapturing the pleasure of writing I had as a kid. I would have an in-the-zone experience in which writing would just pour out of me. Then as I got older the type of writing I would have to do for school required a more deliberate type of writing that didn’t feel natural to me. I stressed over the academic papers, feeling inadequate because I couldn’t easily write them in one shot. I would have some “flow” experiences when writing, but just enough to keep me tormented. Loving it for a moment and then going back to a sense of total inadequacy. I also never could get myself motivated to do a journal. I started one many times, but always lost interest. Somehow blogging has been different. I have seen it referred to as narcissistic in another blog, but I would disagree. Putting myself out for all to see is scary, but the potential of being in conversation is the thing that really excites me. Plus getting some positive feedback has really been helpful. Left on my own, I always assume the worst about what I do. Ultimately, it has been great to finally have a voice. I enjoy communicating, but at my worst I close up and fear that what I have to say is not worth hearing. Blogging has provided a play space to exercise my writing muscles. As with all exercise, I look forward to becoming better with practice.